So, am I to make myself utterly exhausted before I can hope to get more than 5 hours sleep?

I have found that if I've been driving a lot and then doing chores which take hours and then am faced with the drive back, I can sleep better. Even if I go out for a while and don't drive, I can get 5 hours no problem. But if I'm not exhausted, really exhausted I can't sleep; which begs the question just how much energy do I have?

I remember having a very low haemoglobin level once and I got so weak, walking for the bus made me sweat and lose my breath furiously and want to grab the nearest seat in pain and even when I sat down on the ground, it was the worst weakness I've had to experience. The doctor said in theory I should have been dead. What is so special about me that keeps me from being dead then and stops me from being to sleep?

Just a little bit of tiredness is not even enough. I remember going to school and studying till my brain hurt, staying up late but I slept heavily. I was exhausted from the walking daily for at least half an hour with a heavy bag and then having mostly 10-4 days, it took its toll. But my sleep never suffered to the extent it is doing now.

I also had problems sleeping on school trips, the uncomfortable environment..but that was for only two days and once I got back home, I had the sleep of my life and it really helped my week ahead.

Now, I've taken 4 pills and I STILL can not get there. So after 3 hours, I've given up and am typing away. If it's not the slightest bit of noise that I'm sensitive to, it's the bathroom (how many times does one person need to pee? ! It's getting so intrusive now, really keeping me in pain) or the hunger - I used to be able to sleep through that and I ate far less then. I also can't exactly stuff my face till I sleep because then my bathroom problem gets worse. I also feel INCREDIBLY dehydrated all the time but you know what happens when you drink water. I know again how much that makes my problem worse. And don't even say caffeine, I don't drink tea or coffee!

It's a situation full of stops and the need for faith. I've once again lost my faith in sleep. I don't know what's going to happen tonight..I've tried relaxation, it's not the physical tiredness or mental that's so much the problem it seems to be going beyond that..just what IS there?!