Well, I saw Dear John today

It was okay. It's stupid staring off a blog post I suppose about something that I have little to say about.

You know how I blogged about fear? You know how I thought things had changed? One out of two ain't bad.

Dear John is traditional. It's a love story. It's a good job I'm kinky and perverted because I'll say that the lengths John goes to for Savannah is not something I'll ever have. By the way that's a fact it's not a moan. I never was the traditionally romantic sort.

I am motivated as of tomorrow to dress as perfectly as I can. Why? Because at least what I do should never make me think twice..at least I would have pleased myself. And that's all I can ask for and do..do the best I can. I want to be looked at as a woman and when I did what I did on facebook though I didn't do it for that reason, I was. That was nice. So to be looked at as a woman, I will be as womanly as I can possibly be with my wardrobe.

There's only so much practically I can do with my look. I'm talking necklaces, scarves and pretty colours..which I have and wear but they are normally hidden under a jacket which isn't shabby but could be more feminine I suppose. It's time for more flow and less stiffness.

And I'm not a Savannah every one loves me kind of girl. I've never got complimented outside my family and one nice female and social networking on my looks positively and as part of sexuality I want to know that I'm putting my best foot forward for my benefit. I also am going to start doing searches everyday for jobs in the Erotica and even porn field. I have no boundaries. Those who don't know me don't know how complex I am..I don't mean that as am compliment or an insult (people ask who's the real you? All of this is the real me) so people will assume things, that I'm doing it to people please or for the attention. You don't know me. You may think you do.

So it's time to live like I'm going to die tomorrow.