I'm really not sure ..those of you who read my Kinky blog will know my rambling..not sure that I like the new direction itself, because you do lose certain things by - get this pretentious piece of crap line- embarking on a new journey. There I said it! But I am happy to express myself..that's it, I'm happy. I don't feel crap afterwards in fact the feeling I have is not one of crap (seriously has a person ever talked more vague shit in their lives?), it's content. It's happiness that I can do that and I've discovered something about me too in the way of a specific turn on. But this time last week I was thinking about Mahabharat, I sort of feel an innocence lost..but that is taken over my feeling content. So if I ever stop being happy, I should stop this new journey. Or maybe lay low on it.
I feel also like I shouldn't be replying to some people's posts on social networking, I feel respect has been lost. That's not something that's going to keep me up at night but there is a little fear, not guilt, in doing something new on your own.
I suppose I just wanted to have all this typed out in diary form. Today 17th April 7-30 pm I feel okay but a little apprehensive.
I'm happy my hair is working with me today..so that's one good thing.!
It's a nice sunny day, has been yesterday too. I decided fuck the work out, just concentrate on household stuff and spread it out, listen to a lot of music, soak up the sun through the glass pane (it's windy outside!) and watch any old youtube. I find it better when I'm not restricted to a routine indoors. It's like I'm putting off that routine and then the daylight ends before you know it. (And I shift). (Sorry in a dumb mood today).
Since feeling content I can be more blase about other things, niggles that don't really matter. I haven't been on Daily Mail once these past two days. I think that deserves a celebatory.. Moving on, I'm happy just being. Now let's see how I am next week back at my job.
Carpe Diem.
No comments:
Post a Comment