Just how long is this going to go on?
I have really had enough. Whenever it happens it hurts me so bad. I just cant exist like this. I am the type of person who NEEDS to be treated like everyone else. I just cant go on having rude stares - and yeah those people are ignorant and yeah its mostly either ignorant older people or rude young people especially girls who just love to take the piss out of me. I dont know what is so wrong with me. Everyone has flaws. I am nice to everyone whos a stranger and i am so sick of being treated either with ignorance, brusque attitudes but mostly in the way most people dont get treated- and thats to be mocked. i cant take it anymore. i am so fed up. im off to sleep and i want to go out today and make it all right. i just know that i have to do something. but no one believes me or understands. what THE FUCK I NEED AN INTERVENTION OR SOME HELP I CANT DO THIS ON MY OWN ANYMORE.
Furthermore, I am just wondering how much things will change after the fight. Yes people may leave me alone but I will still be considered the same thing according to them. Except a brave ugly woman. I am so sick of being this and I never was considered this before. I know I am not ugly and that no one is and I know I am not considered hot. But why do I get scoffed at? Just a side glance and then look on straight ahead or smirk or look the opposite way as if I am nothing. I'm human, of course I'm not nothing. Some women say I am pretty - am I non threatening? I used to get male attention before now I get none except to mock or on social networking from men who give the impression they are lonely and think I'm a good little Indian girl. I just want to have sex now and again but because I'm not willing to settle for anything less than the admiration the most beautiful women in the world get from my guy- without changing my looks- I know I won't get sex soon and that I will have to rely on myself for it. So my life seems to be this straight line full like they once said I have a long way to go. Why's it so hard, will it ever get easier, will I ever get an extreme such as excitement?
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