Forget everything else,everything else even pales in comparison because they can be controlled but this talk part the fact it's not existing, that's what I miss. I function on an intellectual basis, sounds pretentious and untrue I know, but when it gets to me through that, that's where the problem starts.
A month, a new season, Christmas, and this could be it. When and if the missing dies down, it's the knowledge.
This is all sounds intense, too intense and it's not that intense, it sounds like I'm making this into a big drama, I just don't know how to articulate it without coming off strong on this blog.
There was nothing I misread at the time when this was happening I am clear on that now. The mistake is having feelings but things stopped well before those were out there.
For the sake of all things sane, this will have to stop now and so this is the last I will talk of this. I just had to get this out as I didn't in my blog yesterday. Any new developments, you won't read it on here but I know there won't be. That's the realist in me.
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