This is really difficult I find.

Writing about a topic is easy but when it comes to jobs, I find that hard. I really don't know what I want to do with my life and that makes looking for a job some what difficult. I mean what job to look for? I have ideas for, at least in the future, paid work.

1. Sex columnist. Either More magazine or Esquire (I'm pushing it I know). I'd like to have my column and a photo of me, capturing what I am trying to say in the column. The photos would be pushing it in terms of the fact I don't fit into any stereotypes of magazine beauty but some people may appreciate different, but the photos are not necessary, just an idea.

2. Sex therapist except I'd have to get more qualifications. But this would also involve human interaction as opposed to being stuck indoors writing. That's why I could never write for a living. Man, is it boring after a while. I get a rush when I can finally transfer my ideas onto the screen but I'd rather be more hands on, actions rather than words.

3. Assistant on a movie. I know again pushing it but movies are a big part of my life. Assistant director, stand in for an actor...oh wow I'm really pushing it here.

4. Working as part of a MUNCH team. Promotion, organising events, pushing limits like going to a dungeon, researching. I don't know how possible any of this is at all.

5. I've been thinking about other jobs, working with the elderly. But that's kind of a last option with me because I'm more into the sexual or movie side thing of things. I don't want to work in a theatre anymore. I don't want to work to help stop bullying, not at the moment and I don't want to work with regards to self esteem,not directly anyway, I'm being selfish in terms of my goals, I also don't want to do phone work forever because I want more face to face interaction, I really need to do that, no fixing things, no cleaning, no manual labour though it once appealed to me. More fresh air stuff. One last thing, I'd like to be a guide outdoors in parks. I'd love to be out for the most part of the day and I feel I need that.

6. I would be interested in working as part of the Sex How to Do Everything Team.

7. I am willing to sacrifice some freedom to do what I want to do, I don't know what I love until I try these options.

8. Working in a sex shop.

9. Receptionist in some sex venue.

10. I will look up on 1 and do the hard work for that tomorrow, I am so exhausted right now but I need to do one option on here each day, fully, not half the work. So I will report on each option each day.

11. This list has really helped me know what I want to do and in terms of looking at what I want to do. Processing my thoughts.