If you ever see someone walk past you looking at the ground

let them, don't disturb them.

I'm not really into writing a page about how I feel, it's the same old same old. Also I have a few newer feelings - not positive ones. That's not something I want to talk about on here. I am loving Glee, my love film movies, online links to Star Wars pre Ewan MacGregor, Shop Girl, Sherlock Holmes my Downey Jr and Jude Law (hello? he was in Gattaca!) respect outweighing the purist in me who thought the trailer literally came up to her and snatched her Sherlock Holmes books (alright BOOK) out of her hands. I just want to watch as much as I can this month and the next, I don't know when I will get to see The Exploding Girl but I know I can see Robin Hood and Whip It. Gosh Robin Hood looks amazing. How important is all this to me? Very. To you if you have problems? I don't know. That's where we all differ and that's going to have to be respected.

I've done so much walking today, when I got to sit down I let out an actual sigh. It felt great to go from cold to warm outside despite the weather being just a little above freezing.

Oh yeah David Cameron is our Prime Minister. I'd love to pull over the covers and wake up and find that's not true. Obama came here, and said he'd take the job as well as presidency of United States. Well come on the second part is true, do we really need any more rules..!..

So, I'll be back when I have some news. This isn't a filler, just that today I got this uneasy feeling, sometimes I don't know if it's fear, nerves, adrenaline, discomfort or anger.

I suppose this is where I really need to make a routine for myself to get my butt to a therapist and get my life moving forward. I still haven't given a copy of identification for the phone sex job that I applied to. I applied to five and one got back to me, but guess what they did it early in the week and I haven't done anything about it. I feel happy about the job but I know I can be at my happiest and also feel that enough of the pain and the crap in life, I want out. Which is very sad and not to be taken lightly. When you're looking at water and thinking if I just jumped in and ended it all, I'll lose the good and the beauty but I'll also lose the pain and the crap, I'm talking about stuff that is the same old same old here, then you need to have a change and I believe in making changes happen yourself for yourself.

Gosh isn't that something that creep Cameron would say?

Alright, so this weekend, push, push, push ahead as much as possible with the phone sex jobs. Come Monday, I can say well I did everything I could at this point in time. Emails, calls, photocopies, postage, it's all going on this weekend as well as my usual Kinky stuff and household blah. And don't forget to sing to Glee. And get some numbers for therapists. I'm not thinking there's a miracle ahead for me or denying and throwing myself into other things, just that I happen to be passionate about them but also happen to be fed up, both as strong at the same time, I don't think I've had it quite like this before. Except I'm an expert at tight rope walking and will be okay.