"Men cannot tarnish mermaids with their boorishness, but nor can they love them. Love requires us to be vulnerable"

Frigging computer. Anyway, I had typed that although I'm not calling myself a mermaid, of course, one can apply this to themselves, take love out of the sentence, equation, whatever.

It's nearly Christmas Eve therefore nearly Christmas Day(Friday) therefore nearly the weekend therefore nearly Monday.

And then the hassles can be over.

I'm not a fan of Christmas time. Nothing to do with the festivities or the celebration (which by the way people need to remember) but it's a noisy time and once it's over I can get some peace.

Stores opening 7am Boxing Day. Dear GOD.

So here's to next week. Come on Tuesday. New Years Day is a bit better, at least it marks the start of the new year and that means I can start my it's January therefore nearly February therefore nearly March therefore nearly April. My favourite time.

I'm glad at least I have a birthday in February. I don't hate that I have it in February as it's a birthday and I'm not going to start hating on that. March is someone else's birthday so that's cool too.

ANYWAY just been watching Ordinary People and Girl Interrupted. They say the grass is greener but yes in a way I envy those people in the movies. I know if I were depressed or I had lost my sister then it sure wouldn't play out like that. I'd be facing the same old shit from people and no amount of talking about it would help because like I say time again it's them that's got to change. No matter my come back or none, they don't change. When the guy says no matter what his mother won't see him differently, she ends up leaving in the movie. But in my life these people won't leave.

And in Girl Interrupted, she's promiscuous. I wish I was. But I walk in the room and I have to ignore evil glares from both sexes. By the way not an exageration and if you can't believe people can be mean without a reason, then you're naive.

But I actually like myself so...lick it up. Really, there's nothing you can say but tough shit. In cliche world, no one makes you feel inferior without your consent. In real world, we know that self confidence doesn't change other people and they may never change. But you can.

I go on. And I have plenty to contribute. Merry Christmas. Once the glamorous movie is over, then I imagine and smile and move forwards and breathe in the air. Breathing is important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUSYb3igXzI&feature=autofb