Oh really.

There are times when an oh really served with a smile is way of walking through something.

I have served it quite a few times. I don't really know about what good it does but it's a way of moving on and dismissing the other person. And that has been my intention for which I have my reasons.

It seems there's a very specific code that I was never in on or allowed to be and I'm at least seeing it now. I can't go into much detail on this and analysing, talking about won't do anything. For me I have to see how I can get past it.

I should have known when I was younger the impact of being overlooked and looking for appreciation and or respect. I should have known it's a dangerous thing and something very out of my reach. It is no longer, I can honestly say something that matters to me since I have lost respect for a lot of people. I should say if there's anyone reading this wondering if it's them, please don't do that. Like I said, I would question and query you first before mouthing off on here. I'm not a coward, I've done things people's jaws drop at half out of shock I did them and half out of the fact they're sort of like little babies.

I'm a little angry at knowing how specific people are.

I guess I always hoped being broadminded and nice would be enough to shine through. But it's not. You have to think like them.

So at these times where I refuse to conform, sell out and sacrifice my need to have some sort of place in the world, some sort of visibility, shine in some small way I suppose, I say Oh really at others and smile.