"It seems." A few of those. It seems

that this week is out of control. It's like a dead end. Invisible, it's ..more and worse than that.

I have to sit down and list what I want. My mind is always going and my emotions are working too. I am in touch with myself very much and clear because of expressing myself. So there's no problem in knowing what I want. I've always known it. I've also known the differences in myself and others and the problems. I can see similarities, grey areas and that contributes to my perception.

Sometimes I am into my thoughts so much, I don't have the care or time to bother with superficial things. And I know and you know my views on superficial. In a message to someone, I figured out one thing. I want in friends and relationships those who can see and appreciate the beauty in everything and everyone and a broadmind. I feel this leads to a lust for life. Whether that lust is fullfilled ..is another thing. I like what we can be and not just what we do. Actions define us but the unfullfilled, the actions we have inside whether obvious or not that IS us. And to me it's important. I don't enjoy the quick and the fast. I'm efficient and I don't show off in the way the superficial do. It's not just a bad thing, it's a good. I don't believe in for the best or optimisim, I believe in logic, knowing and processing. What's important and what isn't. What can be done.

I've always had it in me to write but it seems it has sort of happened out of necessity for survival than just an expression. I have to do whatever it takes to fullfill my following needs and I have realised that THESE are needs and some other things are just childishness, spoils.

My needs;

Sex.
Colour.
Impulse.
Want.
Confidence.
Faith. (Not religious).