Dilemma.

Folks, I'm on a humdinger of a dilemma.

When you are being attacked in whatever way, now please I'm not interested in who the fk is attacking you kind of stuff because I can fight my own battles and also what are you going to do unless you are physically with me..so when attacked, how do you attack back?

I've decided it's simply no good to let it be and let it go.I just can't let it go. I have tried but I have this really heavy feeling in my head always. I'm sorting out my own issues, trying to keep confident and now I got back the belief in myself..but how can I get the point across that this is simply not good on to a person that attacks..in a way that I can do this in the very short time I have with them, literally just a passing moment, and when I have tried stares and that has failed. I'm worried that I will be attacked and this happens when there is no one around and I worry people carry knives.

If you think this is a new paranoid development, I would advise you to read my blog from the start to know what I am talking about. Then you will also see how long I have to carry this burden and that I have in the past put responsibility on myself. If one gets attacked by everyone, no matter which age group, one thinks it's themSELVES who should not exist. Now, I just can't take their prejudices on myself. I've had enough but I'm unable to stop being attacked.

I am reaching out for help; asking what comment can I get away with to the attacker. Or should I laugh instead? It would be robotic of me; since at that time I don't particularly feel like laughing and other than on a stage I'm not big on putting on acts. But I'll do it. In fact this one I can try out tomorrow.

I'm also a bit tired of manipulative snitches being bastards and I've got over the fact they love the audience of their girlfriends or other "friends" but it's just the actual offender that I have to deal with now. I'm focusing on the essentials here.

Since school I've had to deal with shit that people who are stereotypically put into categories such as homosexual, heavy, bald, albino, someone with a skin disease, disabled, noses that have character (as I like to call them because exactly what IS a big nose?) have to deal with on a daily basis. I know I don't fit into any of these categories ..my skin problems are very minor to say the most and I'm now half the not exactly big size I was but I'm still getting shit. I'm told I don't give off any the impression I fit into any of these categories.

I smile, I mind my own buisness, I look ahead, I look down, it makes no difference, I'm still getting shit without even communicating with a person. This has become ridiculous but I can not laugh at it because I'm afraid I just can't laugh at myself and put myself down the way they are.

So I'm asking for help on this one. Please be no nonsense and honest. I've taken a lot, I can take your comments. I'm asking for help here, I can't just ignore I am afraid. It's become too much.

THANK YOU.