Colour.

Yesterday I saw the movie Precious. The direction was amazing. I wanted to work with someone like that or just talk to them for 5 minutes. I loved the movie. The girl was amazing too.

In one scene she gives her red scarf to another girl. In writing it sounds trite. Quotes in writing and scenes in the movie in the trailer are nothing compared the film. It made me see we need to have colour in our lives. We need to see and know the truth. Don't ever be delusional. Knowledge is power. Ignorance is NOT bliss.

The final scene of the movie was exquisite. Life is not clean. The idea we need to believe what happens is for the best. I don't and never will. Life is life, to explain, to find reason, to analyse is one thing to documenting it. I hope to document and of course there will be analysis but things happen which are gross and one needs to deal with that idea.

A few years ago I had rage inside of me. I use the energy differently now. You know what's helped me? Time. But it's time which has been well spent in terms of learning myself and evolving. My goals have not changed but I have. When Precious slaps another girl, when her mother throws things at her, I can relate to that, the hopelessness they both feel, I can relate to that too. But it's the end that doesn't erase the past or make the future seem rosy, it just makes life have a purpose. The purpose being you. And in her case herself and her children but it WAS her. She needed to change as a person because that's how she can survive.

To get given a break no matter what it is and who you are, it's so incredibly lucky.

I hope all Precious girls can have their say and I can't control the luck part even for my own life but as I now vow to be relentless, I want that for these women and men. Relentless definition;

"Firmly, often unreasonably immovable in purpose or will: adamant, adamantine, brassbound, die-hard, grim, implacable, incompliant, inexorable, inflexible, intransigent, iron, obdurate, remorseless, rigid, stubborn, unbendable, unbending, uncompliant, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding."

"Existing or occurring without interruption or end: around-the-clock, ceaseless, constant, continual, continuous, endless, eternal, everlasting, incessant, interminable, nonstop, ongoing, perpetual, persistent, round-the-clock, timeless, unceasing, unending, unfailing, uninterrupted, unremitting."


I believe in this. You either survive or die. Yes, get busy living or get busy dying.