Work hard. Play hard.

Seriously, if we don't push ourselves, we get lazy and bored. It's nice to have a nice relaxing time and there are extremes in this world, luxury and mints in your drink on the one hand and then wondering if you're going to get beaten up because you looked at someone on the other.

I know why this happened. I've got this mix of sensible and needing to push myself when it comes to work and family. Right now, I couldn't imagine one day where I sat at home doing nothing. Almost as if I should be making every minute count. My, my, I thought carpe diem was only reserved for "Neil Perry" types and I was always more of a "Todd Anderson."

On the one hand in my life I have eroticism, it's pretty intense, deep, and it's kinky eroticism and on the other hand, I am breaking away from looking up every single bdsm book and movie. I watched Juno this movie with Ellen Page the other day, I've seen it before, the character's a little annoying but ultimately that inner strength is something I have always admired long before anything. Today, I'm just listening to The Doors, probably becoming a new fan, watching Junebug (how to describe it? Interaction-y, a little awkward, weird, still, I love it) and reading The Great Transformation by Karen Armstrong. A book passed onto me by my Sir.

Tomorrow, I will be visiting my grandma. I just decided that today.

Although I have a job lined up, I have also decided to fill in more applications for just about anything which I can practically apply for. I'm not going to stand on a mountain as a hello welcome people greeter as I'd fall off and puke on the people, carpe diem or no, nothing about that job appeals to me aside from being so out in the air but I am going to go a little further than a local library.

Why? Because I should push myself.